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Glass Onion: An Unhelpful Review

Writer's picture: Amanda KelnerAmanda Kelner

And we're back! After a slight break, I've organized a triumphant return, complete with all the gusto of a new year's resolution. I've also come with the promise of a fair and unhelpful review of the second installment of Benoit Blanc's investigative adventures, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. Does it work as a whodunit? Do I hate the fact that it's set in the heart of the pandemic? Will I ever not review a sequel?


Calm down. This is only my second entry.


Briefly, and Without Spoilers

In case you're unfamiliar with one of the most successful movies of the season, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery sees a second murder mystery solved by the increasingly popular (both in and out of this cinematic universe) Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig). This time, he's mysteriously invited to an island getaway murder mystery party, hosted by tech billionaire Miles Bron (Edward Norton). He's joined by a host of other characters, all of whom seem to come from different worlds but clearly have a complicated history with one another, sure to unfold over the course of the weekend. The pretend murder mystery becomes very real, and it's up to Blanc to solve the case and save the day.


And shenanigans and sundry.


Murder Mystery or Mystery Murder? (Spoilers Ahead)

I don't think there's any point in reviewing the bits and pieces of a murder mystery if the mystery itself is trash. Sometimes you'll have a wrap-up that doesn't make sense, or one that no one could have seen coming, or one that just doesn't pay off. And if the mystery sucks, then no amount of fun little details can make up for the let-down.


So we'll start there. The big question. Was it a good mystery with a good wrap-up?


Sure.


There's a part of me that does very much like who was guilty and why (I'll try not to completely blow it for anyone who hasn't seen it). The intentional vapidness of the why and how is amusing.


And the final scenes in the mansion are cathartic, not just for the characters, but for everyone who's ever had to deal with the Miles Brons of the world.


I was not a huge fan of that middle section where we learn about how Blanc came to be at the island. I suppose one of the biggest technical critiques of the mystery genre is the monologuing and exposition that happens at the end. But a flashback, especially a long one, isn't much better. And by long, I mean long. Certainly, many murder mysteries recreate scenes to show what really happened, but these recreations were...extensive. I almost would have preferred the traditional wrap-up as opposed to the route they took. Or at least something faster.


The Things That I'm Going to Say About the Things Other People are Talking About

I've heard on the internet that some people have some feelings about somethings. And I'm here to address those things according to what I think about those things.


Apparently everyone was annoyed that it took place during the pandemic. Because we're all ready to pretend like it never happened and also isn't still happening? I guess that's the complaint? I think we've got to get over the "media is set in a pandemic setting" trope which will now become a thing for all stories that take place during 2020 and 2021. As traumatized as we all are and as much as some of us would like to process that trauma with denial, I'm sure we'll eventually get to a point where we accept it as part of our reality.


Also, the filming took place in the summer of 2021. When many countries still had stringent restrictions in place. They weren't going to be able to guess what the world would be like a year from filming.


The Cast of Characters

No good mystery is complete without its quirky cast of characters. And this installment had no shortage of them and they were all very entertaining.


Birdie Jay (Kate Hudson) as the not-so-harmless dumb bimbo is annoying, funny, and problematic (purposefully so). Duke Cody (Dave Bautista) is also a hilariously awful human being, although I think I would have rather seen more of his girlfriend, Whiskey (Madelyn Cline), and certainly his mother (Jackie Hoffman).


Which brings me to the pitfall of any mystery movie in that they inevitably can't give all the characters enough screentime. I think Katheryn Hahn should always get more screentime. Just as a general rule. I thought Lionel Toussaint (Leslie Odom Jr.) could have been made a more interesting character. There was potential for a lot of depth there, and he ended up just kind of being...there.


Of course, no Glass Onion review would be complete without a word on Janelle Monae. Wonderful. Incredible. Excellent. Loved her. Effortless in both roles. Seriously so good. Give her all the parts.


Also, Derol (Noah Segan) deserves a special shoutout, as the most chaotic addition to the movie that ultimately was just a dude on the island and not some random curveball to throw in at the last minute, which I think is what we were all expecting.


So Anyway...

Let's be real, murder mysteries aren't put on this earth to be high art. They're fun and they kill a couple of hours. I feel like you've got to judge them on a sliding scale of "Good Fun" to "Not Good Fun" and I'm giving this movie a solid "Good Fun." I enjoyed it. I laughed, I did not cry, it was a good time.


And now it seems like Daniel Craig has a post-Bond franchise to build and an iconic sleuth to add to the master universe of fictional sleuthers.



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