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Red, White, and Royal Blue: An Unhelpful Review

Writer's picture: Amanda KelnerAmanda Kelner

Hey! That rhymed! This one's been out for a little while, but it keeps popping up all over my feed. Probably because I clicked on one thing about it which, for whatever reason, tells the algorithm that I'm obsessed. So I decided to actually watch the movie and give it an unhelpful review.


Let's dive in.


Briefly, and Without Spoilers

A feud between the prince of England (Nicholas Galitzine) and the U.S. president's son (Taylor Zakhar Perez) reaches a boiling point in a very public way. The two are forced to make nice, which soon turns into an unexpected romance. It's a romance that must remain secret to protect their families and themselves. But hiding their love becomes harder as they grow fonder of each other.


Unhelpful Reviews vs. the Rom-Com (Spoilers Ahead!!)

I think we need to establish something. You know how I publish reviews with caveats that say, "if you don't like these kinds of movies, you probably wont' like this"? Well, we've reached the genre that your humble author isn't the biggest fan of. Rom-coms. And romance movies in general.


I don't know, every once in a while I find one that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but most of the time I find them kind of...boring? I guess I'm not the most romantic person. I don't usually mind a romance plot, but when it's the entire storyline, I often struggle to connect.


But I'm not letting that stop me from offering an objectively unhelpful review. I will set aside my prejudices to tell you if it was a good movie.


And yeah, it seemed fine. A little cliché and unbelievable at times, but good. The storyline was simple and easy to follow, the leads had good chemistry, and Uma Thurman and Stephen Fry were in it, which was fun. Honestly, they were both fantastic. Stephen Fry, in particular, was a favorite. I kind of wish his dialog had been better because his acting was on point.


It definitely felt like a Wattpad story. There were more than a couple, "Excuse you?" moments. Ultimately nothing too unbearable. And the romance seemed very natural. At least to me. Remember, I'm a heterosexual woman, and can't necessarily understand what a gay romance is like. But it didn't seem like it was forcing a certain experience just to check off the diversity box.


Everything else seemed fine. I don't know, it was fine. And if you like romances, I think you'll probably like this one. It's fun and heartwarming and definitely worth the watch if this is your jam.


An Argument for More than Fine

I'm going to put myself in the shoes of a more romantic person to try and offer a fair, unhelpful review. The leads had good chemistry and it was an objectively wholesome relationship. I also think it brought up real problems facing queer people without falling on clichés or forcing certain storylines simply to satisfy a particular quota.


I actually really appreciate the scenes and struggle around Alex's coming out. He obviously was nervous about it, but even in the political realm he and his family were occupying, they were able to bring a reality to the situation that offered an authenticity.


And I appreciate the fact that both his parents were very open and accepting of his sexuality. I feel like coming out scenes are often overblown in Hollywood to create tension and represent a particular experience of the queer community. And let me be clear, I fully understand that being rejected by family or even creating discomfort is a very real experience for an unfortunate number of queer people. But I think if that's the only story we represent in the media, it only adds to the stress of coming out to friends and family. There are plenty of wonderful people who will accept queer people for exactly who they are and showing that that is also a reality is important. Representation matters, even when we're talking about life experiences.


I think it can also be a good moment for people who might have to have this discussion with a loved one. It can sometimes be difficult to know what to say to someone who is being so vulnerable, and if you're not prepared for it, your response may not reflect your true feelings. I completely understand people who struggle to voice their opinions in a way that actually represents their feelings. I feel like I could rehearse my statements over and over, but when my mouth starts running, sometimes I barely get out the main point, let alone any finesse. Seeing ways to accept someone in that moment and how painless the process can be can be just as important for people who may suddenly find themselves on the other side of the conversation.


There's a lot about the experience of coming out to your parents and friends that I can't relate to. I've never come out to my parents and, as far as I know, there's nothing to come out about. But I think many of us can understand the vulnerability of bearing your soul in that sense. We all know that it took a lot of courage for Alex to come out, and we also sympathize with Henry when he tries to keep his sexuality a secret from most of his family. We can't all live in households that accept us, and being able to show that spectrum so simply offers representation for queer people at both ends of that experience spectrum. And we all hope that people who find themselves in Henry's position have the same happy ending he experienced.


Privacy and Privilege

There's a big moment in the film when Alex and Henry's private romantic emails are released to the public and they have to deal with the fallout. Firstly, I thought Alex's monologue about respecting privacy and sexuality was arguably the best moment of the film. It was a great monologue and the kind of statement I think many of us feel regarding these kinds of a personal "scandals." And I agree with his message. People like Alex and Henry deserve privacy and a gay relationship in the 21st century shouldn't be a scandal. Maybe there's an argument to be made that the son of the president having an affair with the prince of England is newsworthy in and of itself, but the film seemed to frame the situation as being more about them being two men.


But it brings up a really good point. One of the consequences is how incensed the royal family is that one of their own is gay, which I'm sure is a knock against out bigoted the royal family is (maybe not all of them, but it certainly seems like all that colonialism went to their heads) but really, how often do public figures experience a scandal that, really, we all don't need to be a part of? Sometimes, a celebrity couple will divorce and it'll be all over my feeds and it makes me wonder why their marriages and personal lives are open to public ridicule when the rest of the world doesn't have to deal with that, or at least not on the same level. Sometimes I think public influence is good, but other times I think we all just need to mind our business.


Don't Listen to Me; It's Good

Alright, I realize this is not the most glowing review, but I promise it is a good movie. I'm just a bad rom-com reviewer. Come on, you didn't think you'd get a helpful review from Movie Review No One Asked For and Aren't Particularly Helpful, did you? Seriously though, if you like romance movies like this, I do recommend it. It has a lot of great elements to it and is worth taking the time to watch it, especially if you're looking for a relaxing Friday night movie. 10/10 would recommend for all you romance lovers out there.

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